Lahore culture crash course - living in the traditional Old City

16 july - 15 august 05

Assalam Aleykum,

Hundreds of young Pakistani men are clapping, dancing, shouting around me in excitement – after a time the atmosphere and the beat push me to get up from my seat. I try to just slightly move with the rhythm – as I am in Pakistan – but after a while my hands are high up, clapping loud, eyes closed – enjoying. Some of the men risk to sneak a peak, but the beautiful female singer on the stage caught all their attention. Their ecstasy increases even more, as the singer starts to dance slightly. “Pakistan, Pakistan, Pakistan!“ sounds like echoes through the concert hall – Where the hell am I?
One of the countless cameramen found the only standing women amongst the nearly 1000 people, now he is fixing his camera right in front of my face – I don’t notice him, my eyes are still closed. For how long have I not clapped standing, listened to music – even slightly swinging – and all this in public? Long long time ago... not in Pakistan. I mean, the Sufi nights at Shah Jamal’s were great, but stand up and dance? Don’t even think about it.
Here traditional dancers and pop singers take turns.

First a well known Sufi is whirling on stage while beating his drum, his oily black hair flying through the air. Then a Pakistani boy group entered the stage, their choreography is not really sophisticated, but no one minds, their voices… oh, sorry, no voices – they sing playback. But this seems most common. Sometimes they don’t even really try to move their lips. A classical dancer is floating over the floor, hands and hand twisted, face covered with a thick layer of makeup – the men are in an uproar. And in between always young singing shooting stars.
Some excitement in the first row, a mobile rings and instead of abusing the owner as usual, if someone has forgotten to turn of his mobile, a bulk of reporters rush behind the called person who paces to the side door – who could dare to abuse the foreign minister?
After ending his call, he enters stage himself, greeting with “Pakistan forever”-shouts und explaining, that he had given the permission for 200 (!) new TV channels, because “India is only well known, because it has so many TV channels, in Pakistan we have had only 10 up to now. Today we are at the first shooting of A-TV and soon there will be 199 more new channels. And if anyone still has evil thoughts against Pakistan after this flood of information, we will erase him from the map. Pakistan, Shukria (Thanks) Pakistan!”
The event lasts till 2am, we had a short late dinner at Sonu’s – now I know, that I don’t like ALL Pakistani food varieties – the jelly skin of goat feet is definitely not amongst my favourites. Afterwards, Javed takes me home through the narrow winding lanes streets of Lahore’s Old City.

A-TV? At home in the Old City, what had happened?

Concerning A-TV – I myself didn’t know about its existence until this very evening. Sonu, one of Javed’s friends in the old city is musician, a great musician as are his 5 brothers and his father, who himself was student of Javed’s father… On one of these relaxing evenings in the Old City, playing music at his place, he told us, that there “will be a big concert – tomorrow. You both will be my special guests” – here in Pakistan this could mean everything. So we went to the Alhambra Arts Centre, behind the stage we were joking round with Sonu, his brothers and some “well known musicians” – I have never seen them, but I guess hardly any one of you knows STS, a very famous Austrian band – in Austria…
20 minutes before opening, Sonu sent us out to the hall. Many film cameras are standing around, but I didn’t care, didn’t think.

Sonu is on stage for the whole event, playing the announcement sound and background music for the show. One after the other interpret was welcomed by promising young (to me pretty un-)known ladies and gentlemen.
I stopped counting every “Pakistan!” cry, about 15 per minute - except during the old traditional performances.
Oh, sorry – I wanted to tell you, why this circus was taking place. Therefore I have to take a short step back in history – only short, promised! On August 14 1947 Pakistan declared independence. (as a detail you should know, that this ceremony was held in India one day LATER! on August 15th which is a great joy for many Pakistanis. Since then, every 14th August has been celebrated with special enthusiasm. Pakistan is still a baby, a young country who’s mental union is still highly visible and audible commemorated. I have hardly ever seen such a display on national pride, even not in Bhutan.

A-TV is also a baby – a TV channel baby. The event was the first broadcast which would be screened – can you guess? – right, on 14th of August.

Ok, some more things to clear?
Yes. I will take some steps back again, not as far as before, but only some weeks: After my return from the trip to the Northern Areas with the German tourists, time is passing fast. It’s getting hot and hotter, we switch on the ac now almost every evening before going to bed, otherwise sleeping would be impossible. My ambitious plans of jogging in the park nearby fade out before realised. I am almost like knocked out after walking down the stairs in the morning, sweating over and over, so - no sports.

The geckos seem not to mind the heat, the babies are growing and speeding up and down the walls after delicious flies and mosquitoes – yummy! But that’s not all, we also have some other pets. Some mice – two of them always outside in the “cage veranda”, but sometimes they get astray and coincidentally find the fruit bowl in the kitchen. A whole army of giant ants is “guarding” our house, marching lock-step through all the rooms. Sometimes the neighbours’ cat visits us and there are plenty of spiders supporting the geckos on “mission: terminate mosquitoes”. They do a great job, therefore they re allowed to put their spider webs wherever they feel like without distraction.
In the SOS Children’s Village I finally managed to get a working computer in the director’s office, they are curious and can already send and receive emails. I knew if I would start with their personal ones, they would be much more interested – and they would read them anyway here, so why not join fun & work?
The relation with Pierre is not at all after the Kalash scenes, after some resuscitation attempts and many days of talking we decided to part.
Javed proofed to be one of the best friends I have in Pakistan again. He invited me to stay with his family in the Old City - great opportunity. So I packed my things and move from posh Gulberg to the traditional old fashioned Old City.
The first 2 days I was “alone” with his family (here you are only at the toilet alone – if you are lucky) because Javed himself is leading a tourist group. The group was initially my group, but he asked me to refuse it and leave it to him, because he needed to get some more contacts in the Northern Areas before opening his new company – thanks to all of you for taking part in the name finding query, it was a great help!
He promised therefore to give me some money for the Kalash if there is a high tip for him, because I wanted to use this money again for the Kalash School. He gave 150USD, way to much for him, but he told me he would bring it there if I don’t take it – reduced for his travel expenses. And I know, he would definitely do it. His heart and his loyalty are almost unbeatable.

An introduction to the life in the Old City:
In his house there are currently living

• Javed himself
• His mother – a woman who was blessed with 3 daughters and Javed but not really happy with a gambler and drinker as husband, who was a part-time goat trader, feared wrestler and great Tabla player – dreaded by neighbours, wife and children – now seriously ill, mostly locked because he would run away, mentally deranged.
• Javed’s wife Salma, a beautiful Pakistani, who is the “accountant of the family” and sometimes has to face the results of Javed’s big heart – he gives money to the poor or other expecting people, even if he don’t know, where to get money from. “God will give me!” She is the only daughter-in-law of Javed’s mother, which means that there is hardly anything to say for her against anything or anyone – the children sometimes have to bear her unreleased aggressions.
• The 3 children (Javeria, Abdullah & Zain) earned her beauty and his spirit, the fire in his eyes, the youngest will start Prep school after 2 weeks.
• His sister Rehana from Karachi; she has been here since some months to help caring for the sick father. Her face smiles all the time, she is a simple, but loving woman – the only one to be really happily married and in real love with her husband – a mere coincidence for arranged marriages.
• His other sister Samina along with husband and 3 children, who all spend their summer holidays at Javed’s – on his expenses, as tradition requires no matter for how long.
• Me

14 people, 2 rooms + rooftop, 8 Charpoys (beds), one washroom, a TV (since 4 days), a radio, 4 cupboards, 2 Aircooler, a hot plate, a washing machine (I have not found out yet, who of all the neighbours is the owner, but anyway) – so for the Europeans: no freezer, no bookshelves, no real kitchen, no washroom furniture, no AC, no chairs, no sofas, no shaker, no food processor, no toys or other “unnecessary things”…

Javed is happy. He has a house, 2 floors he rents out, all family members get food 3 times a day and there is always some extra money for relatives, beggars, neighbours and other expecting people. And he believes in Allah Almighty, who always helped him in his life.

So I am allowed to experience how it is to live in a real Pakistani family, which duties everyone has, the hierarchy, who earns the money and who is in charge for the distribution. I am there for 1 ½ weeks now, a crash course in culture, language, mindset, religion and national pride.
Sometimes I feel a bit locked, the rules are unknown to me in the beginning and strange, but their warm-hearted welcome and patience countervails everything. Javed does his best to provide me as much insight as possible, he takes me along to friends, relatives, sights and special places from his childhood – the house where his first love had been living in the street which he roamed many many times to see her on the balcony. The street, where he bought sweets for his first small vendor’s tray, students of his father who are now well known musicians.
At his place we have moving evenings on the roof top, with views over the Old City, colourful flying Kites in the air, singing songs, telling jokes or share our stories.

There are so many things to learn, to see, to experience. Sometimes I have the feeling, that only now I have arrived in real Pakistan. And as hard as it sometimes seems to be – there is always a good portion of humour to cope with it from all sides.

Some examples for rules and possibilities to drop a clanger – written with a smile on my face!!!!

1. say goodbye, leave at once, go shopping, come back
• I am sure I have never succeeded in greeting in the proper order
• Leave at once without accepting the offered tea or the offered male company – who will come inchaallah in one our or so – is intolerable. Tea is not to be refused; women don’t leave the house alone.
• Shopping while being guest is seen as embarrassment for the host, he/she thinks her supply was not sufficient, so the next day she will buy way beyond her/his means to bring everything that could be desired.
• *** finally I was also sometimes allowed to buy something as a present for them – adopting the tradition. Once the kids came along for shopping and I was allowed to spend them ice cream, they were happy, but much more was I
•

2. stretching after meals
• Completely inacceptable. Shalwar Kameez will lift up, the dupata (scarf) slips (especially if untrained foreigners, ankles and throat become visible – in presence of men unacceptable, lolling women – anyhow unacceptable.
• *** Finally I was allowed to do it when the rest has left the room, Salma watching me twinkling with a smiling face.

3. read a book in peace
• What???
• At last 10 people are sitting around and want to know, what is written in the book, if you often read books, which books, which one was the last, why you read books, … then they tell what books they have seen or even read and it will become a funny evening – but the book…

4. dry underwear
• who the hell wears underwear? Ok, they bras are there, but I haven’t found out yet, where they dry them. Every time when I put mine – under some other clothes – somewhere to dry it, it was back in my bag after 10 minutes – wet.

5. come back late from work
• Dangerous situation: finish work and leave in time and not getting caught somewhere on the way is almost impossible in Pakistan.
• Working women are suspect anyhow
• Returning home late results in being questioned by at least 10 persons and express your regrets for them being worried.

6. come out after shower only wrapped in a XL dupata
• First of all: there is no shower, only a bowl with water (I learned how to wash myself with only 1 ½ litres of water without feeling dirty afterwards – what a waste of water in Europe!!!
• Second: I was lucky that there was neither Javed’s mother nor any man around. The XL dupata didn’t cover my calves – that’s striptease!

I learned a lot about my own limits, especially concerning privacy, heat and crowded rooms and how to extend these limits.
There is no space to be alone – no wonder with 2 rooms and 14 people, and if you succeed once, it won’t take long and many people are around because what ever the “angrezi” (foreigner) does must be interesting.
No place to change clothes except the muggy bathroom, no place to read, write, relax alone, just being quiet, no place to put a bag without it being moved – the furniture is being moved 4 to 5 times a day – the main room is a dining room with rugs on the floor and Aircooler for 3 times a day, a living room with rugs an TV, sleeping room with up to 3 charpoys and Aircooler – only the cupboard remains on its place – up to now.

I never cared about these things, I always knew, it wouldn’t be for a long time and just delayed some special things for the time coming where I would have space and peace to restructure my belongings.
Javed does his best to take me out as often as possible, even if it is not for working. Thanks to his open mind I feel most comfortable, it was the best time that I had in Lahore – except the first weeks with Pierre, but that’s a different angle. Javed is able and willing to answer all my countless questions, even loosens some rules – I was not able for example to wear the dupata all the time in the extremely humid heat, his mother still sometimes throws an askant look at me, but she accepts me, what is quite important in a household, where the son still has to ask if he wants to take out the -mother of his 3 kids. Most of the time she only allows it, if he also takes his (only by her) beloved son-in-law with the whole family which is most of the times too expansive – so no trip outside the house.

One exception I experienced. Salma's sister invites us to go to Joyland, a fun park. So I had my first Pakistani “outing” – that’s the word to describe going out in the evening here – there rare occasions, maximum once a month. A new Shalwar Kameez is ready for me, my face is being covered with lipstick, rouge, make-up and all these useless things by 3 excited women– u know my passion for make-up…
But anyway, the atmosphere lays its grips on me, the ladies’ joy while dressing up and styling for outing after many weeks is infective. In their eyes the pale faced angrezi is much more beautiful – the put bleaching cream and layers of make up to get a fair complexion, though I like their dark skin much more.
As everyone has the right earrings, dress, shoes, dupatas and other accessories we move. 2 rickshaws are ready, in each of them 7 people squeeze + driver. The kids are excited, the ladies’ eyes glooming of joy and pride – outing, finally!

At Joyland everything is available from carousel to freefall. We try everything, in between eating French fries and bounty. It takes till 2am, on the way back it’s still humid and hot.

On 14th – the Independence Day – I join Adil and Asem to go to the race club watching the races and taking snaps for the new edition of the “Horse&Horseman” magazine, their new “baby”. A great time rushing down in the heat to cover pictures and back to the VIP lounge for food and cool air.

In the evening Javed’s kids are out of bound, they see their daddy with “auntie” on TV – A-TV. What an event. Everyone has seen their daddy – everyone except the 99 percent of Pakistanis who are out on the street or on their roofs to celebrate or watching a better known channel ;o).

Soon I will move to Islamabad, spending some time there with Adil’s family and Asem. I will really miss Javed’s family, they became dear friends, especially he himself, his wife and his sisters! Then on to Chitral. If anyone has a secret hint how to get rid of fleas – you are most welcome!!!
I am really looking forward to come back to the Kalash Valleys, see Rabichan, Azurma, Sher Alam and Irfan and last but definitely not least little charming Masran. And to start with the school project!!!

So all the best – never forget: if one door closes, at least one other will open – just have a look!!!
Khuda hafiz

there are pics on yahoo - they are too much for this blog... if you are asked for a password: acchigom

Life in Lahore Old City pics